Me and My Future: The Facts

So, I recently had a few "re-realizations," something I've been dismissing for months now, but recently came up again, and decided it was a decent way to start a blog. It's a perfect representation of what I want to say; I want to say what I feel should be said and what I feel doesn't get said enough.

My being gay doesn't define me, but it defines parts of my life for me.
-There will always be a reason to feel awkward in public with a potential partner/boyfriend/husband, whether I'm holding hands or simply walking beside him.
-It will (almost) always be obvious to others that we are not brothers or just friends because there's at least some semblance of "gay-dar" in everyone today.
-The only way to reduce these chances of being "visibly gay" is to wear different clothes, act a different way, and speak a different way than is natural for me.
-If I come out to someone who knows another gay man, he/she will likely have the inclination to assume that he and I are destined to be together.
-(And when I ask what we have in common, and he/she has nothing more to say than, "well, he's gay... and you're gay," I will likely be criticized for not having an open mind.)
-If I am to ever actively "hit on" or flirt with a stranger, I have approximately an 8%(some say 10, some 5, some 3) chance of the man being even a potential partner.
-I am expected to go to certain isolated areas of a town or city to find the "gay culture."
-Any attempt I make to openly date may potential exhibit negative side effects on my other relationships with friends, family, and acquaintances.
-Any attempt at trying to make conversation with another person of my gender, someone I share biological similarities with, can be perceived as an attempt at flirting or "hitting on" them.

-I will not have a big wedding.
-It will be far more difficult for me to have a carefree wedding, even more difficult to have a happy one.
-My wedding will make people I don't know furious.
-Since there will be no bride, there cannot be a bridesmaid and, therefore, if the situation is to arise, I will need a new word for her role("groomsmaid," possibly).
-We will have to strategically choose the state, city, neighborhood, and home that we live in in order to ensure that we will be allowed as "normal" a life as possible.
-Once married, we will have to remain in one of the 18(for now) states that acknowledge our marriage or lose divorce as an option.
-If I am to ever get a divorce after marriage, I will be more likely to be criticized, expected to honor the sanctity of marriage higher than a heterosexual person.
-If I am to ever have a child, he/she will not be biologically related to both me and my husband.
-(I feel more comfortable saying I will have a "wife" than I do saying I will have a "husband".)
-I will have to look more critically at any job opportunity, at their contract, to ensure that my sexuality will not allow my coworkers to treat me differently and/or allow my coworkers to fire me without any other just cause.

-And, while I am compelled to speak and write to others about these struggles that I will face, I risk further allowing my homosexuality to define me.
-And my stating these facts about my life and possible fears can easily be perceived as a request for pity.

I'm not even necessarily mad or sad about any of this. I don't say any of it for pity at all. I say it because there is no reason for me to say it to most people. There's no reason they need to hear it, so they don't know. And I say it because being gay shouldn't define my life in any of these ways, but it does because of a cultural tendency to alienate and perceive differently those who are unlike the majority. And because, if every person would read, understand, and see these facts as disgusting as I do, then their opinions would negate almost all of these facts.

And, at the same time, I can also say that just like biracial, monogamous relationships have achieved near equality, same-sex, monogamous relationships will too, someday(most likely sooner than many would be led and may wish to believe).